we came from cracked concrete sidewalks

Noir Cloudy Day Just Before the Storm

i

sometimes i itch
for caffeine near midnight,
is it near midnight already?
again?

The artist’s choice of drug
alteration of perception,
stamina and energy!
alteration of mind

it’s late
and I don’t want
to spew out some old
tired cliche
like
“addiction
is a double edged sword”

we’re waiting for the rain
to come and cleanse
our sins –
the tv said there’d be rain
(damn weather man!)

like a sundial in the closet,
we all find ourselves
misplaced
(only, we put ourselves here)
“keep the coffee comin’, babe!”

addiction is self-administered
poison
(psyche)

and rain doesn’t cleanse anything
that piss doesn’t cleanse

mossy rock, waterfall, desert sands
and cacti,
visions of old sages

addiction, knowledge, psyche, words,
meditation, prayer,
chantings

my mind wanders back
to the sundial in the closet
gathering dust

ii

experiencing early childhood
in the 1990’s,
the birth of hip-hop,
disco is dead
long live disco

iii

you remember
when we were
in the desert
and we drank
one another’s sweat?

silence falls upon
a vast night –
and then
the whistle of the wind

(we bleed ink and wine)

iv

dawn cracks,
we sip cheap coffee
from styrofoam cups

the night before,
old sitcoms
blared from the telly
back in the hotel room

we were so full of dreams
and aspirations

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the journey home

(a poem in seven parts)

part, the first

and the moon melted
leaving crescent shaped visions
upon the eyes of all the children

come on, dance with me,
let’s do all the things
that we’ve always wanted to do
but were too afraid to do:
after all, tonight is our very last night alive
just like last night was

part, the second

the personification of death,
the twitching and itching of human flesh,
the knife cuts through the skin
like blood seeps through satin lingerie

the twitching and itching,
oh!  the slow, soft, sensual death –
there was a man in a long black robe,
he lured me to a room,
offering immaculate delights –
the sensuality in his eyes,
the soft madness in his voice,
the madness in my ears:
the truth be told, i must die

oh! bleeding ears,
and decaying eye balls,
decaying body, decaying spirit –
decaying deception

part, the third

i watched him fuck a million women with his tongue,
a million screams trapped in his throat,
a million deities defiled by his hands!

masturbation and the smell of death,
dripping blood and the smell of new born babies,
teenagers rolling around in mounds of death

dripping semen from stab wounds
and desecration of sacred matters

visions of ballerinas
dancing around flaming bodies,
tears falling from the eyes
of the rotten carcasses
while little miss sunshine runs around
searching for her head

psychotic worms crawling around
on the inside of my tongue,
the taste of rubbing alcohol
and the smell of the grim reaper’s cologne

night out on the town,
we’s gonna get real fucked up
we’s gonna go fuck lady liberty
(like, who hasn’t already?)
yeah, we’re gonna
piss on the lawns of the white house
and wipe our asses on your flag

(justice was long ago crushed
under militaristic ass kissing,
justice was exchanged for a
symbolic counterfeit)

part, the fourth

it’s like, the whole damn world
is falling apart, man!
you know what i mean?
we’ve surrounded ourselves
with all these symbols
and we’ve forgotten what’s really real
do you get what i mean, man?

it’s like, being out in the middle of the desert
with a whole bunch of nothing
and no one around
you start seeing things
it’s like you become your own best friend
(the creations of your mind,
your subconscious desires)

i can’t feel your hand, where did you go?

i wanna go home

part, the fifth

it’s been a long time out in the wilderness,
things have changed now,
things aren’t the same now

coming home, you think to yourself,
“hey man, this ain’t my house!
where the hell am i?”

(soft piano music in the background,
devil’s guitar, playing in your head)

ideas resurface in your mind,
corruptions of past perceptions

to taste his kisses straight from the womb,
grows sweeter through the years
passions inflamed, just you and him
all else, vapor sent by the gods

life fucks us all and the grim reaper gets sloppy seconds

(nuestra pequeña muerte)

deep in the pit of the stomach of the beast
even the walls speak,
whispering bloody murder

sanctified virgin sacrificed on lonely alter’s opening

laying out under the egyptian desert’s sun
trying to divine the meaning of divine visions
forming before our eyes

oh, ra, grant to us this day understanding
let us carry the sun in our eyes
let us carry your intentions in our perceptions

part, the sixth

while feasting upon the brains of dead worms
you forgot what true nourishment tastes like upon your tongue

eden: oh, land of eternal youth,
oh, land of my long forgotten youth
i long to know you, to be with you

“i’ll see you on the other side of eden!”

finally, nights are getting shorter,
days are getting longer
the moon, oh, the moon!
i have not had faith except for the moon
and i shall dwell in wisdom
oh, i shall dwell in wisdom
(sun and moon: eternal eclipse)
death: take me, i am yours!

part, the seventh

spirits of the long dead,
poets of rivalry:
i give homage to thee

(ego is a tyrant)

let us resurrect venus and unite her with mars

let’s get drunk under the moon
divinely mad, lunatics
let’s dance under the moon
in our intoxication
let’s make love under the moon,
let’s make love to the moon
let the sun consume our bodies
look: this is me!

sacred madness, divine lunacy, holy folly

naked children running down the road,
old people walking on water and dancing on fire

i want to make love to the angel of death,
i want to feel his heart beat so close to mine –
blood running cold;
body weak and pale, stiff, unmoving

(death comes in soft whispers)

oh death, i long to be absorbed into you,
to be your living memory,
to be in your perfected perfection,
to be in you, to be you

(i closed my eyes,
but you were still there,
i could see you
ever watching, ever waiting)

greek gods, statuesque figures,
come to unite us with the infinite:
infinite possibilities, infinite solutions,
infinite deities, infinite entities

like a strange sojourner in a foreign land
come to worship at his feet
(let’s get drunk and forget why we came here,
reasons are for those with preserved sanity)